Since forever and a half, in the month of December--when the rain starts up and Californians ride freeways like cars don't hydroplane and crash and wrap around light poles like pink ribbons--I would think about God.

The cold in So. California is not something we sun-kissed homosapes are used to. There were the early years of my high school career where we'd walk to school in shorts so that the dye wouldn't bleed onto our shoes, because even though it was raining, it wasn't cold.

But then recent years happened and the cold started stomping my rib cage and putting out statewide fires ... and it made me think about God. And not just because fires were going out and peoples' homes were being saved, even though that's dope too kn'amsaying.

But only in the cold am I ever aware that I have bones.

The ache inside is a deep, deep feeling. My bone marrow starts slushing around. It's crazy. It's dope. I don't even realize my insides are touching things on the inside too.

And this is not a metaphor for God showing God's self through suffering.

This is one some quantum physics tip, kn'amsaying. I'm on some tenth dimension contemplation right now. I was not aware of how deeply I could feel until I felt it.

NOW. I have to figure out how to feel with my atoms.