Stop thinking.
Because it wasn't just one four-letter word here and another four letter word there. Profanity served as nouns and verbs and gerunds and transitional parts of speech ... it was like learning a way of expression that meant I'd have my ass kicked inside out if I got caught doing it. The challenge was part of the fun.
Like when your girlfriend texts you with an important question and you don't answer 'til right before you know she'll call.
The way to play this game--and more importantly, survive it--was to figure out the rules, which basically boiled down to: DON'T GET CAUGHT. And the way you didn't get caught was to know when and where to cuss.
After the first few times my lip was busted faster than I could know what happened, I came up with with a list to keep my face in tact at all hours.
Times and places to do it:
Playground at recess
On the way to or from school
When lighting a bottle on fire
When describing a woman's breasts
Times and places NOT to do it:
In class or around any adult.
On the way to, at, or on the way home from church.
Within a 10 mile radius of my mom or any one she knew.
Playground at recess
On the way to or from school
When lighting a bottle on fire
When describing a woman's breasts
Times and places NOT to do it:
In class or around any adult.
On the way to, at, or on the way home from church.
Within a 10 mile radius of my mom or any one she knew.
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1 comments:
Hard Arteries and Bubblegum Cigarettes is a really good title for something. Something like, I don't know, a collection of things about your childhood misdeeds. In book form. Let's all think of our blogs as rough drafts for potential books and act accordingly.
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