... there's a reason why chlamydia spreads so fast.

Kn'amsaying. College campuses. What. The. Ff-- ... not that I judge ... but I do get scared in class sometimes when people breathe in my direction.

What if I get mononucleosis 'cause some dood kissed some young lady but this dood also kissed other young ladies and this young lady also kissed other doods and I end up next to them in my Psychology of Women class and one of them sneezes and a speck of saliva is inhaled through my nose, rushes down the back of my throat and INFECTS my glands with the mon'.

I'm not d'.

But that's not what I'm trying to get at. It's Halloween, and the costumes are dope. Sike. I cannot deny my testicular reaction to them sometimes, but I can say that I'm offended when the people of our world today insult my intelligence ... by claiming ... to be things they're not.

"Hi Matios!"
"Hi Kelly! Oh emm gee, it's so crazy to see you here at this 4 year university that I earned my right into and NOT because of affirmative action."
"What?"
"Nothing. Oh wow. So I see you're dressed up? That's nice. What are you?"
"You can't tell?"
"... I mean ... nah ... instead of 'no' 'cause they say I talk blacker than I write."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I'm a cop!"

But Kelly, my dear friends, is not a cop. She is a scantily clad being with hand-cuffs. Don't ask where. And Rebecca is not a construction worker. She's just wearing yellow tape. And Joanna is not a whale. She's comfortable enough with her body to not feel embarrassed if you can see her belly, bitch.