Married language is a little different than us normal homosapiens of Earth.

In high school, there was a brief exchange between my parents about the big D. Divorce. And I was very confused by this because I was raised being taught that Love was about giving, that all senses of self were thrown out and amplified at the same time because you were not only living for yourself but for the people around you.

Suddenly, this nest that raised the lion-haired Matios that I am today was hung on a low branch with a lit match right beneath it. I couldn't believe my ears. So I went to school that day disillusioned. Going to my locker, pulling out my books, walking to my next class, in a weird hang-over type of haze.

My parents didn't get divorced though. They didn't even mean it. I don't know why the eff they said it. I know this because I told my mom once:

"Mom, you know ... when you and Dad said you were gonna get divorced I was really affected."

And she laughed in my face and hugged me and looked at me with the beautiful look mothers give when they're thinking "You're an idiot ..." but it's not just "You're an idiot ..." because the sadness that's kind of there while they're laughing is guilt. Guilt for having raised a child with so feeble a mind.

She responded:

"Matios. Why would we ever get divorced? We just said that to shut each other up. We've been together 25 years. I'm pickled. What's the point? I've been through the worst of it, I might as well just wait 'til one of us dies."

And she laughed more.

Then she said "I love him, m'ijo."

Eff. It's your fault, Mom. You RAISED me stupid enough to BELIEVE you when you SAY SOMETHING. How dare I trust your words. April fools. =)

I love you.
My mommy, I mean.

But I love you too.