Palin and Me: Why blow up a moose when you can blow up 3 meese? Episode 10

Did you know that if you were to walk up to a moose with a bass-drum, and inside the bass-drum were explosives, and you set the bass-drum beside the moose--and the explosives were not detonated--, the moose would not know there weren't detonated explosives in that drum?

[ Allow me to clarify what I mean by explosives since the Vice Presidential Candidate's name is included in this. I mean flowers. "Blow up" is a colloquial term we Alaskans use when talking about brain-washing a woman into falling in Love by using flowers, "attentive listening", and agreeing with everything they say. No matter what. Ever. ]

In that respect, can we really consider meese human beings? The more I've been hunting, gutting and stuffing them, the more these sun-flower picking, long-haired hippies keep talking to me about animal rights. Which I don't get.

Habeas Corpus said nothing about a duck's right to fair trial, therefore, how could I give the duck a fair trial, if the duck is not a human to be trialing but hunting from a half mile away.

As far as I'm concerned, if the animal is a quadruped, it has 2 rights: a front leg and a back leg. And both taste delicious.

So in that respect, seeing that these pot-smoking anti-Freedom Fighters called the Democrats and every one else that's on their side of the stick have been making some good arguments against the senseless killing of innocent animals ... I was telling Todd that we better wrestle as many bore as we can before they criminalize it like they criminalized marijuana in the 20's for being a "mexican drug".


Full collection of my Non-non-fiction documentation with Sarah Palin and the family here.