Palin and Me: Polar bear problems? Sarita's the quicker fixer. Episode 6

Now, you might think it was dumb of me to sit in baked honey mustard garlic marinade for six hours before attaching the meat and drumettes I marinaded with to hooks along my body before walking the out-doors with two open jars of honey and a freshly killed rabbit attached to a leash smearing blood along my path, but this isn't about you.

It's not about you imposing your beliefs on me, or passing judgment like some silk-robed scribe who wipes the outside of a chalice but leaves the inside full of dust and dirt. Out of my sight heathen! Let he who has never walked through bear-land with fresh-meat attached to his body cast the first javelin, otherwise ... silence yourself. This is America, we're about democracy, not your pseudo-fascism.

Needless to say, I'm not sure what happened because the next thing I knew I was waking up three months later with severe animal bites all across my sexy body, but thankfully the Palinites were trained in the ways of the Paladin, and I was able to share another beautiful day on this Earth. With a bear coat.

Thank you Sarita and Co.

Full collection of my Non-non-fiction documentation with Sarah Palin and the family here.