I want to cry world. :(

Oh. Emm. Gee. You will not believe what happened. So I was like, totally spying on my sister the other day, you know? Because I was like, eff that, she’s been totally watching The Hills and like, I know how upper middle class white people get bored and do weird things like ecstasy or each other’s wives, and it’s just really strange you know?

So, I totally found out her facebook password, and was like, totally reading through her messages, and I found out absolutely freakin’ nothing about her. Oh. Emm. Gee. She’s so scandalous. What is she trying to hide, you know?

I could’ve been like a good brother and been like well whatever, maybe I should trust her because she’s never given me like a reason to not trust her, you know what I’m saying? But then I was like, ugh, totally not, because then what would I have to talk about with my girls when we’re at Starbucks drinking whatever that bitter dark water is with chocolate specks in it and whip cream and like, totally talking about how good it is. When we all know we’re lying.

Any way, to like make matters worse, I see her in a picture with some guy. And like, I know that it’s me, but still. Oh. Emm. Gee. How could she have a picture with a guy on her facebook? That’s totally like scandalous.

So then I go onto her myspace and it turns out she drinks. WATER. I know right? Not even the expensive kind. Like … the regular … whatever kind. I don’t even know what brand it is because it’s just that poor. Oh. Emm. Gee. I don’t even wanna talk about this any more. I feel sick. Good bye.

Oh. And just kidding.