I really like oranges

It turns out. I really do. When I was just a little negro with a big head, running all lop-sided and tripping over chairs and tree branches because I could jump so high because I am obviously black which obviously automatically makes me way more athletically available to be that which is the because if you just go and words get typed with numbers. What?

I really like oranges. Citrusy. Sweet. They’re bomb. Sometimes I’ll get a little plate, pour a little tapatio on that bad boy, dip the orange in the tapatio and eat it like a lizard tongue. Sike. I don’t eat lizard tongues.

My favorite part though, is to sit by my sister while I peel it, and wear bullet-proof, UV resistant, stainless steel, GPS monitored safety glasses so that my cornea doesn’t get burnt by the juices. But she’ll get blinded by the orange’s blood, because she is a murderer of fruit, and should therefore feel the pain of a poor orange being skinned alive.

Or maybe it’s dead, since it’s already been picked off of a tree. There’s so much you can do with oranges. You can squeeze them into orange juice. You can also give people paper cuts and squeeze the orange juice into their cuts.

And when you have the juice! You can drink it! Or you can make the drink a tool. PUN INTENDED. Gahahahahahahahahaha.